About 4everblackjack : Hey there! I come here to read FML's right before I sleep. I normally don't comment but if I do, I apologize in advance for anything stupid I might've said. I'm also obsessed with this Kpop group called 2NE1. Message me if you want; I'll reply late though..
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4everblackjack's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML
by ohh jeez. / 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML
by Italian_Stallion / 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Tennisplayer / 02/10/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML
by p00p_m0nsta / 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by notpreggers / 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Jacobro / 01/26/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (Connecticut) / Geek
Today, I farted A LOT during my exam, all silent so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I am now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
by Hth / 10/27/2008 at 8:13pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous