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43dayday's favorite FMLs
by lonely / 10/24/2011 at 10:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Clumsyblonde22 / 06/04/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
by Manstobe92 / 11/16/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
by Nottheprettylady / 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by joshinbaltimore / 03/22/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
by Syferix / 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…