This member hasn't filled in their description.
420isLunchTime's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
420isLunchTime's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML
by jgboy / 09/14/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Health
by amberrenee91 / 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm / Pakistan / Love
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy
- Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she… Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned,… Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out…
- Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a… Today, my child support payment got sent to my daughter's father's other child's mother, so she not… Today, I woke up to find a blueberry sitting in my bathroom sink. This incident would normally be…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.…