About 409sPoisonGirl : Dumbfucks amuse me. Give me your best.
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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
409sPoisonGirl's favorite FMLs
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 10:39am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
by busfail / 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by 409sPoisonGirl / 12/21/2011 at 12:12am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 1:30pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by noname / 09/22/2010 at 1:37am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
by snakeboy / 08/24/2009 at 12:49am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML
by Ma.Sa.La. / 02/27/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Maryland) / Love
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