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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (5872)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by MelanieP (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77863) - you deserved it (3140)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59097) - you deserved it (3362)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14421) - you deserved it (34644)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (4116)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:06am - intimacy - by frustrated (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55472) - you deserved it (3407)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7023) - you deserved it (35563)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31569) - you deserved it (26400)
On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32461) - you deserved it (2430)
On 05/31/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (7221)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (3613)
On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (55077)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (2762)
On 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm - health - by quietdown (woman) - United States (California)
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60785) - you deserved it (3779)
On 05/30/2009 at 2:52am - intimacy - by nevergoingonabusagain (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
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