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3timesfail's favorite FMLs
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by… Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…