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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (2985)
On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my 11 year old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach wearing a bikini. He said " Wow! Who's that?!" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said " Whats happened?!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (5213)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6086) - you deserved it (35280)
On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (13778)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50954) - you deserved it (5018)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45394) - you deserved it (20569)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55194) - you deserved it (3434)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my mom, sister, and I were talking about a friend's girlfriend. My sister's opinion of her was that she was cute but not hot. My mom agreed, saying that she didn't think that someone without boobs could EVER be hot. She then looked at me and said "no offense." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (2095)
On 06/29/2009 at 7:07pm - misc - by Atomic_Tangerine (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (6392)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49733) - you deserved it (1778)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85938) - you deserved it (50902)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88918) - you deserved it (3803)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (87882)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (6993)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6245) - you deserved it (46673)
On 05/30/2009 at 8:48am - kids - by Jess (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
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