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33Got_Game's FML badges
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33Got_Game's favorite FMLs
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
by Hesintrouble / 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML
by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
by nowimbroketoo / 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML
by HillaryAngelic / 07/22/2013 at 3:09am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML
by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Carebeareatu / 07/21/2013 at 9:26am / United States / Love
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:15am / United States / Work
Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…