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33Got_Game's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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33Got_Game's favorite FMLs
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
by rachel / 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
by his word vs mine = me suspended / 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML
by hunchback of notre bite / 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm / Korea, Republic of / Intimacy
Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML
by whyyjustwhy / 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:54am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
by please don't back that thing up / 08/09/2013 at 1:00am / United States / Transportation
Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Love
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML
by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health