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30stmfan128

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30stmfan128

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  • Number of visits : 1020
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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30stmfan128's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were going to do an ugly sweater photo shoot. When we met up, one of them was wearing a sweater I gave on her birthday. FML

#18346982
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (9531)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by ravlol - United States (Missouri)

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (10510)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (31152)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (6412)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (8151)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

#18272205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4695)

On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (18851)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (3180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39054) - you deserved it (7741)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (55974)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43715) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42483) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (2228)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (15599)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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