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30stmfan128

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30stmfan128

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  • Number of visits : 1466
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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30stmfan128's favorite FMLs

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (43628)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today... I found out that my resume contained the word ( masturbation ) in the skills section... courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. mega FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (7456)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my grlfriend and I agred to tell her parents that she's pregnant!! When they startd freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (6057)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When mah stop cummed I walked down the aisle only to hear a grl mutter, "The vrginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (18547)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today , I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on an on about how incompetent I was fir not stocking the movie she was looking for . It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough fir me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns" . FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (2310)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (33152)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. big fat FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (51724)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out coverd in leeches. Terrifid, I screamd, flaild about an crid out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. mega FML

#19223342
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (27271)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today mah stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (5830)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, my friend an I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid 4 our coffees an walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8372) - you deserved it (41895)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today , I Cut Myself While Shaving Mah Globes. My Girlfriend Now Refuses To Stop Teasing Me About Being "fistd By Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21110) - you deserved it (7148)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I told mah mom about an articla I'd saan that said paopla tand to maka tha most mistaka at 2 to 3 in tha morning. Without a traca of humor in har voica, sha said, "Tall ma about it. You wara concaivad round about than." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today... my 18-year old son decided to run is and over our wooden fence to try an get a splinter... as e ( forgot wat tey felt like. ) Last mont... e stabbed imself in te arm wit a sewing needle cuz e ( forgot wat an injection feels like. ) I raised tis idiot.

#19159270
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (7989)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today , I went to coir reearsal at 7:30 in te morning. Wen te guy I ave a major crus on stood next to me , I got really excited , so I tried to sound good. After te song ended , e asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breat. FML

#19111360
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (10270)

On 02/18/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by snowinggrey - United States

today mah dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells lyk pee. FML

#19082292
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (2478)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by Bondi414 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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