30stmfan128

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30stmfan128

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1867
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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30stmfan128's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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30stmfan128's favorite FMLs

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

by Mary Kathryn / 04/22/2012 at 8:09am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

by still hungry / 04/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

by DJ Clitter / 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

by Ew. / 04/09/2012 at 11:22am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

by Sadboy / 04/06/2012 at 10:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

by user210 / 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation