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30stmfan128

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30stmfan128

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  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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30stmfan128's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (30150)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (1714)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (2647)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (4937)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (4147)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (34259)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (5802)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7174) - you deserved it (29682)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (3370)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2711) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (1875)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

#19691249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5125) - you deserved it (28354)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (6863)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (5786)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2932)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States



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