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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (2576)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (2442)
On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (4282)
On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27327) - you deserved it (2260)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (2292)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35177) - you deserved it (11266)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42530) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (2039)
On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (16918)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (3895)
On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (2960)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2335)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28887) - you deserved it (3384)
On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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