Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Offline (yesterday at 6:22pm) | Search for a member

3051628

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32921
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About 3051628 : Currently in the second semester of my Junior year studying Geography at Penn State. In general, I'm a very laid back and relaxed guy, and I love listening to music from just about any genre. I also love playing video games (with my newest consoles being the Xbox One and Wii U). I'm not sure what else to put, but feel free to message me. Fair warning though: I'm not the best at responding to messages on here, so if there's a bit of a delay in my response, please don't take it personally.

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>coyotefox</b> - 12 hours ago<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:16am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:18am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:07am<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:43am<b>thepowerwhithin</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:42am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:19am<b>lui_pg</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:43pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 6:05am<b>Tyrez</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:13pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:25am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:23pm<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:36am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:12am<b>weird_adult</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:01pm<b>oreily12</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:24am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Jmancw</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:42am

Fucked!<b>coyotefox</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Tyrez</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:52pm<b>oreily12</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:24pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:29am<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 8:06pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:46am<b>Ozzien</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:47am<b>melons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 10:07pm<b>tnlander</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:58pm<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:59am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:55am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:17am<b>swanheart</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:16am<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:10am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56pm

3051628's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer's credit card was declined. His totally reasonable reaction was to threaten to put a bullet in the back of my head. FML

#21513076
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (1191)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:25am - work - by retail can shart a cock - United States

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23581) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

#21512854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (3219)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML

#21512688
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/07/2016 at 10:41pm - work - by Bottom feeder (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

#21512319
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (1824)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:38pm - animals - by cat lady - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

#21511989
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (1511)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:56pm - work - by Nicky_ham (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (1869)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

#21511971
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (1512)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:19pm - money - by Becca_Jo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate blamed me after her cat got shocked after chewing through my phone charger cable. The same one my roommate stole to charge her tablet. Yet it's still somehow my fault. FML

Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML

#21511628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (1382)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:17am - health - by bloodless - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

#21511580
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19381) - you deserved it (1168)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm - work - by HeatherFeatherB (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

#21511573
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18297) - you deserved it (5077)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm - work - by Emma (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: