Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Offline (the 01/11/2014 at 2:29am) | Search for a member

3051628

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7949
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:19pm<b>BookNerd_123</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm<b>chrisbreastr0kr</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:31pm<b>ThatTennisKid14</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:31am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:12pm<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:14am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:38pm<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:35am<b>zZLightZz</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 2:25am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:33pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:57pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:11pm<b>cbm311</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:22pm

3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48401) - you deserved it (7715)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (3608)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (70958)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14228) - you deserved it (43698)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41821) - you deserved it (2269)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (9429)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

#18378086
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2209)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

#18354062
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (2020)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:16am - love - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (5498)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (6879)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62279) - you deserved it (4614)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: