Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31554
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About 3051628 : Currently studying Meteorology at Penn State University, and I'm headed into the first semester of my Junior year. In general, I'm a relaxed, laid back guy. I love listening to music from nearly any genre and I also love to play video games. The newest two consoles I have are the Xbox One and Wii U. Another hobby of mine is going on long walks (while listening to music of course). I'll the past I've played basketball, soccer, tried some fencing, and a little football. I've been on this app almost every day since I first happened upon it roughly seven years ago.
I'm not sure what else to put. If there's anything else you'd like to know l, feel free to message me. Unfortunately, I'm not the best at answering messages quickly on here, so if I don't answer for a while it's nothing personal.

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:46pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Ozzien</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:46pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:07pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:42am<b>Exobadger</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:58pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:46pm<b>tnlander</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:37am<b>IronMan_Mk43</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:24am<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:59am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:15pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:42pm<b>cristinewest</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:40am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:17pm

Fucked!<b>One_Way</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:46am<b>Ozzien</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:47am<b>melons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 10:07pm<b>tnlander</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:58pm<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:59am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:55am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:17am<b>swanheart</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:16am<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:10am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:01am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:18pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:51pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:58am

3051628's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53118) - you deserved it (5685)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML


Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML


I agree, your life sucks (47829) - you deserved it (9756)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54232) - you deserved it (9087)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML


I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61138) - you deserved it (9719)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45904) - you deserved it (4227)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58126) - you deserved it (35102)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59645) - you deserved it (5968)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45267) - you deserved it (5533)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62406) - you deserved it (7460)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52977) - you deserved it (4194)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: