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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11487) - you deserved it (15072)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6682) - you deserved it (24391)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (3283)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (2901)
On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (2923)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (7942)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (2628)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (2628)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6758) - you deserved it (25463)
On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (23882)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (2129)
On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (3616)
On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (1446)
On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24592) - you deserved it (3729)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (1597)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Shobz (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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