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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (1829)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (12623)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20161) - you deserved it (32670)
On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (2990)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (24651)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (7954)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (2772)
On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (3213)
On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (92299)
On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45398) - you deserved it (3025)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (3708)
On 08/02/2010 at 1:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6407) - you deserved it (55761)
On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (3675)
On 07/31/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by college kid - United States (Florida)
Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (5350)
On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (4280)
On 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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