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3051628

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3051628
  • Town/Country : somewhere, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5513
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

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3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (6203)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
500 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (144689)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (3236)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (1834)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (32982)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (25343)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (25343)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (32893)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (8600)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (2157)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (7949)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (1160)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17029) - you deserved it (1932)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)



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