Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

3051628

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18785
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>KimmieHappyKat</b> - yesterday at 4:10am<b>184886837272837</b> - yesterday at 11:06pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:23am<b>jojimugo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:28pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:09pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>shutupshane12</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:34am<b>MiguelDavila</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:12am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Jerakl</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:47pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 12:53pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:00pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 12:08pm<b>ordinarygent</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:44am<b>Haggis300</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:56pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 10:12am

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:16pm<b>shutupshane12</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:41pm<b>iris2288fml</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:16pm

3051628's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, I thought I was doing a nice thing when I spent hundreds of dollars to get my friend a plane ticket home. She yelled at me when I gave it to her. Turns out, she planned on spending a few more months freeloading off me. FML

#21311645
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (2720)

On 12/04/2014 at 9:04pm - money - by yourewelcome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (5456)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42302) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
85 comments

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (2092)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (9090)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (2294)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (2646)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: