Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

3051628

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11973
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:02am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:28pm<b>iris2288fml</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:15pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:54am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:43pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:36pm<b>PhantomFollower</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:34pm<b>HalloweenQueen18</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:02am<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:44am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:37pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:47am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:09pm

Liked!<b>iris2288fml</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:16pm

3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60634) - you deserved it (6693)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (6182)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41430) - you deserved it (9635)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

#21157136
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45760) - you deserved it (3408)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (53183)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

#21144192
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (5080)

On 05/18/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by motherfuck666 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52050) - you deserved it (5038)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36359) - you deserved it (4294)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (15332)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54376) - you deserved it (6706)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46311) - you deserved it (10490)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (64298)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: