Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31546
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About 3051628 : Currently studying Meteorology at Penn State University, and I'm headed into the first semester of my Junior year. In general, I'm a relaxed, laid back guy. I love listening to music from nearly any genre and I also love to play video games. The newest two consoles I have are the Xbox One and Wii U. Another hobby of mine is going on long walks (while listening to music of course). I'll the past I've played basketball, soccer, tried some fencing, and a little football. I've been on this app almost every day since I first happened upon it roughly seven years ago.
I'm not sure what else to put. If there's anything else you'd like to know l, feel free to message me. Unfortunately, I'm not the best at answering messages quickly on here, so if I don't answer for a while it's nothing personal.

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:46pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Ozzien</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:46pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:07pm<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:42am<b>Exobadger</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:58pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 8:46pm<b>tnlander</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:37am<b>IronMan_Mk43</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:24am<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:59am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:15pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:42pm<b>cristinewest</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:40am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:17pm

Fucked!<b>One_Way</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:46am<b>Ozzien</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:47am<b>melons</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 10:07pm<b>tnlander</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:58pm<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:59am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:55am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:17am<b>swanheart</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:23am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:16am<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:10am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:01am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:18pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:51pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:58am

3051628's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (1640)

On 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm - work - by Secret Isis supporter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (7858)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see a movie with a seemingly nice guy after a friend set us up. As soon as the movie started, he unzipped his pants and told me to "get to it". FML


I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (1884)

On 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by strawberry - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (2724)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (1481)

On 11/16/2015 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (2585)

On 11/16/2015 at 1:44am - intimacy - by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (1537)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by hell - United States (California)

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:21pm - health - by Nora (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (5252)

On 11/11/2015 at 7:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (8859)

On 11/10/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by CoffeeStained - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm - kids - by Kidsthesedays (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/09/2015 at 9:07am - misc - by Quendolin - Germany

Today, I finally got a good seat on a plane. I don't know what the man next to me had eaten, but I was trapped for two hours next to him as he let out silent, deadly egg farts the entire trip. There was nowhere to escape. FML


Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML


I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (1906)

On 11/08/2015 at 12:14pm - work - by Eternal_Babyface (man) - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: