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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (1613)
On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States
Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (1933)
On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (11163)
On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (4424)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (3737)
On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (2656)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (2272)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (2698)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (32645)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (25459)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (4762)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47580) - you deserved it (4165)
On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (2252)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (8011)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (3928)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 17 June 2013
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