Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

2ophiia

Offline (35 minutes ago) | Search for a member

2ophiia

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1965
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

2ophiia's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:47am<b>devildog562</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:53pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:30pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:41pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:22am<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:16am<b>ma12r</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:06pm<b>SeenTheend</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:33pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:46am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:08pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:31pm<b>iSativa</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:33pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:35am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:39am

2ophiia's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of 2ophiia's badges

2ophiia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15869) - you deserved it (2890)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (4798)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (6651)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (1954)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16071) - you deserved it (29484)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (6361)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (5090)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43025) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (4153)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (11140)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (14734)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: