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I agree, their lives suck
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (3448)
On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18865)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20143) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11335) - you deserved it (47412)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (4098)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (6853)
On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15686) - you deserved it (3166)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (23103)
On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10551) - you deserved it (20841)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5353) - you deserved it (21273)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (17911)
On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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