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I agree, their lives suck
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (2035)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (22748)
On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (21228)
On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (4359)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (1209)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (1650)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16585) - you deserved it (1998)
On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (14941)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by RedFox12 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13886) - you deserved it (3425)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (968)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10181) - you deserved it (7424)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (1330)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (3447)
On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18860)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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