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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
2Gs's favorite FMLs
by grrr1234 / 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm / Kids
by abbielane / 06/25/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
by yeah / 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
by Anna / 06/15/2012 at 5:43am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ANNIEDBD / 03/23/2012 at 5:44am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
by busfail / 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
- Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very,… Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When… Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life,…