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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
2Gs's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
by -_- / 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
by icanteven / 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML
by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…