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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (7081)
On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (2840)
On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (13779)
On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Cristoforo - United States (New York)
Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (2478)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48624) - you deserved it (3736)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (35407)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (3661)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75134) - you deserved it (4314)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41954) - you deserved it (3639)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46071) - you deserved it (3704)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (9467)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (10800)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47826) - you deserved it (3260)
On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (8913)
On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54661) - you deserved it (9174)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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