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2D0wn's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love
by courtbabbbby / 02/12/2011 at 1:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by jessica / 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML
by unfortunatelyunlucky / 12/12/2010 at 2:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work
Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2010 at 10:41am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis… Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..."…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him…