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Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (3857)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (3104)
On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (2471) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (2948)
On 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (1559)
On 12/12/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by unfortunatelyunlucky (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6057) - you deserved it (16816)
On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved
Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (3515)
On 09/01/2010 at 10:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (10993)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (4671)
On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (4671)
On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)
Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (3863)
On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (3641)
On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (9708)
On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (2542)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (8325)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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