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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (8050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8408) - you deserved it (38248)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that’s what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (2502) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (3323)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17073) - you deserved it (48204)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/28/2011 at 1:51am - love - by Fuckit - United States (Idaho)
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54742) - you deserved it (7497)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, I realized my 3 year old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (4462)
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (21464)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (4718)
On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China
Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (32574)
On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59840) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (5523)
On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (3852)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (3100)
On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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