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Mobility
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Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (2799)
On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (5802)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (3821)
On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28616) - you deserved it (6421)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (5404)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (2011)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (6652)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105402) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (39262)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (39262)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (1681) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32096) - you deserved it (9755)
On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10824) - you deserved it (32837)
On 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by T-Guy (man) - United States (Arizona)
Friday 24 May 2013
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