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2D0wn's favorite FMLs
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by TheHezzer / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous
by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work
by daughterofanazi / 02/08/2012 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love
by DieTrying / 02/02/2012 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health
by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
by mazzer / 01/03/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML
by NoMoreMeters / 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…