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Mobility
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Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26989) - you deserved it (1251)
On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (5910)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12504) - you deserved it (29424)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (8478)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (1301)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by corey - United States
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (1839)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140) - you deserved it (2729)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (1360)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by TheHezzer - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (3509)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (7018)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3642)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (3521)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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