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2D0wn's favorite FMLs
by ramis182 / 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
by titillating / 03/12/2012 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy
by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
by poop / 02/28/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Transportation
by corey / 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States / Work
by Username / 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…