2D0wn

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Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 12:11am)

2D0wn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4632
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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2D0wn's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>Yourusername</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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2D0wn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

by dan / 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

by flustered / 05/06/2012 at 10:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

by mark807 / 04/28/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

by Merlin / 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

by potassiumgirl / 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 1:52am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous