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2D0wn

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2D0wn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1608
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:41am<b>Yourusername</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm

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2D0wn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (3876)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (5832)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (4753)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (39878)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (2745)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33903) - you deserved it (8314)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (4606)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7284) - you deserved it (32178)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (9996)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (18095)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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