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25redshark

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25redshark

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25redshark's favorite FMLs

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6887) - you deserved it (45241)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (49605)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (14651)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

#15985772
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (7219)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (51407)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (9476)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (3158)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you deserved it (8013)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

#15840429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (2892)

On 04/18/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by MyS3lf - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (76637)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8389) - you deserved it (103920)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7739) - you deserved it (70585)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8605) - you deserved it (69836)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

#7845593
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9756) - you deserved it (48420)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:44pm - money - by jk2010 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5006) - you deserved it (74952)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)



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