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About 2011_fhal : :)
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (1958)
On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (2114)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5822) - you deserved it (10644)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14444) - you deserved it (2118)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96395) - you deserved it (3836)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML
I agree, your life sucks (66772) - you deserved it (2517)
On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58815) - you deserved it (9616)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57854) - you deserved it (4292)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58406) - you deserved it (1883)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54641) - you deserved it (3331)
On 05/06/2009 at 6:04pm - love - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61007) - you deserved it (4118)
On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91786) - you deserved it (8817)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57262) - you deserved it (14846)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62242) - you deserved it (2291)
On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66618) - you deserved it (11017)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
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