Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

1tsmenoah

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

1tsmenoah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10277
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 1tsmenoah : I like video games. I play violin and cello. I hate sports. I'm a gymnast. My dog is Shepard/Husky/Chow mix ( I'm pretty sure.) I will most likely not reply to messages unless i message somebody first. If you say my
dog Mocha is cute then thanks.

1tsmenoah's page activity

Visits<b>Thorzix</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:26am<b>feven</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:55pm<b>rustycage92</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:03pm<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:39am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:24am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:51pm<b>doofusrabbit</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Hisoka1</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:36am<b>superamericankr</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:19am<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:58pm<b>ManualBeatle56</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:39pm<b>awesomeness716</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:31am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:17am<b>melons</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:08am<b>Chadly1994</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:36pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:12pm

1tsmenoah's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of 1tsmenoah's badges

1tsmenoah's favorite FMLs

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40887) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (9387) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (5127)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (13791)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (4587)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41540) - you deserved it (5635)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (10007)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51009) - you deserved it (4917)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (72327)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (5017)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38257) - you deserved it (6012)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: