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  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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1jordan1's page activity

Visits<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:31am<b>maddyadams1469</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:59am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 6:05pm<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:39am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:05pm<b>LycanGod</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 9:58am<b>Estrangement</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:49am<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:29am<b>FAKECRASH59</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:40pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:12pm<b>LORDLYPSO</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:09pm<b>greekk</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>dantecarlson</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:26pm<b>KrissiKat</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Genius_Kitty</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:44pm<b>sashakotlik</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 5:02pm<b>BlameTheOwls</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:55pm

Fucked!<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:39am

1jordan1's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of 1jordan1's badges

1jordan1's favorite FMLs

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

by oops / 07/29/2015 at 2:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

by newmoongirl1036 / 07/12/2015 at 10:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

by Lindsey / 05/24/2014 at 11:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

by CheapFamily / 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm / United States / Money

Today, I told my neighbor that I was going to Réunion Island on vacation in a few months. She said that she'd always wanted to go there. As a light-hearted joke, I said she should come with me. She's now booked a plane ticket. FML

by voyagevoyage / 04/09/2014 at 6:38pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

by sociallyawkward / 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

by DarthVerona / 03/14/2014 at 4:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

by jill / 02/25/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

by igotpride / 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous