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Offline (the 09/10/2015 at 10:19am) | Search for a member
About 1dvs_bstd : SAY HELLO TO THE BAD GUY
I comment on really old fmls from back when I was in high school and make it seem like I'm from the future. Bwahahahahahahahaha.
A couple of my favorite TV shows... In alphabetical order:
Community, Scrubs, HIMYM, Blue Mountain State, Arrested Development, Futurama, The Simpsons (Season 1-6), South Park, Family Guy, Breaking Bad etc.
A couple of my favorite movies...
The silence of the lambs, Scream, Stephen King's 'It', The evil dead, Army of darkness, Most Quentin Tarantino movies, The shawshank Redemption, The breakfast club, Star Wars.. why am I doing this? why are you still reading.. fuck all yall.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML
Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML
Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
Friday 2 October 2015