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About 1_5_6_2_3_ : My names Olivia, I love country music, muddin, fishin, huntin, horseback ridin, ridin dirtikes, motorcycles, and four wheeler, goin to town and chillin on the lake with a few cold beers. I live in a small town full of rednecks and I wouldn't trade it for the world. ((:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (3425)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17840) - you deserved it (4167)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (8512)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (16895)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by loveade11 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (5854)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12046) - you deserved it (3453)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14138) - you deserved it (2955)
On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12560) - you deserved it (2065)
On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11835) - you deserved it (3733)
On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (14378)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (2731)
On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (3089)
On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4395) - you deserved it (10731)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Jssceli09 (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (4957)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (2496)
On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
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