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About 184886837272837 : I like brownies and stealing fire extinguishers to play with. I am conservative in some ways (pro gun) and liberal in others (pro legalization, of all drugs, not just marijuana). I get a massive hard on for nice knives. I know how to appreciate a good folding knife and I have a passion for flipping balisongs. You buy me a Benchmade, Spyderco or any knife at all (preferably a Spyderco) and I'll love you forever.
-Spyderco Tenacious or Spyderco Manix 2 Lightweight with CPM S110V blade steel.
-Pocket mask and gloves (for CPR)
-Police grade flashlight
-Wallet and phone.
I have some hacking skills. I'll say something that will cause offense. Fuck censorship, speech is free. Fuck intellectual property, information is free. Fuck NDAA and HR347 (ask what those are), people are free. If you like memes then you'll find it cool that I have met the Lazy College Senior in real life! My Bio is getting too long so I have to stop now.
Remember, a knife carried is a life saved.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
Friday 29 May 2015