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15499kiwis

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15499kiwis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 15499kiwis : Welcome to my page. I made it out of 15499 pieces of green fruit.
Now get out, you filthy, filthy chipmunk.

15499kiwis's page activity

Visits<b>Apoocheman</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:15pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:56am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:04pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:45am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:35am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:59am<b>Maddeee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:46am<b>screenager5</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:00am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:54am<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:41am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:36pm<b>teresa96706</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:18pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:47pm

15499kiwis's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of 15499kiwis's badges

15499kiwis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33955) - you deserved it (4372)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20004) - you deserved it (42320)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58822) - you deserved it (5037)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (55650)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51075) - you deserved it (4482)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41164) - you deserved it (7232)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (5797)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (10602)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (5079)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55966) - you deserved it (8997)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (17447)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States



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