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15499kiwis

Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

15499kiwis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 563
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 15499kiwis : Welcome to my page. I made it out of 15499 pieces of green fruit.
Now get out, you filthy, filthy chipmunk.

15499kiwis's page activity

Visits<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:41am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Apoocheman</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:22am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:04pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:45am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:35am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:59am<b>Maddeee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:46am<b>screenager5</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:00am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:54am<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:41am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:36pm<b>teresa96706</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:18pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:47pm

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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15499kiwis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34647) - you deserved it (4393)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (58)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (3421)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59953) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20561) - you deserved it (55787)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (3080)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51649) - you deserved it (4525)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (7243)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (5805)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (10619)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (5082)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56186) - you deserved it (9019)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53148) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (17987)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States



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