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15499kiwis

Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 12:14am) | Search for a member

15499kiwis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1028
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 15499kiwis : Welcome to my page. I made it out of 15499 pieces of green fruit.
Now get out, you filthy, filthy chipmunk.

15499kiwis's page activity

Visits<b>Apoocheman</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:33pm<b>charliedee</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:59pm<b>twaal22</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:41am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:57pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:04pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:45am<b>AlonsoKold</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:35am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:59am<b>Maddeee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:46am<b>screenager5</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:00am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:54am<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:41am<b>mcm_3</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:36pm<b>teresa96706</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:18pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:47pm

15499kiwis's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of 15499kiwis's badges

15499kiwis's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (3042)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18758) - you deserved it (55457)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
160 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (46)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (115)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39226) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60180) - you deserved it (5144)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (58277)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (3166)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51856) - you deserved it (4537)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (7476)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (6039)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (10914)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)



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