This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47768) - you deserved it (2176)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61199) - you deserved it (2103)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55102) - you deserved it (2644)
On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41239) - you deserved it (5661)
On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman". She was disappointed and disturbed by this and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43618) - you deserved it (5313)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:57am - misc - by liberatedwoman (woman) - Oman (Masqat)
Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (38911)
On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (3647)
On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51646) - you deserved it (4152)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61772) - you deserved it (5480)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53689) - you deserved it (421)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (21890)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you deserved it (55950)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52306) - you deserved it (3320)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47647) - you deserved it (25852)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
