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149967

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149967
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  • Number of visits : 979
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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149967's favorite FMLs

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (4359)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (37886)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (37886)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47471) - you deserved it (3271)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (6907)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (14406)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (1827)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (9209)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (9209)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (9986)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

#10974262
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (18332)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14945) - you deserved it (36780)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10371) - you deserved it (22808)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States



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