149967

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149967

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4655
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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149967's page activity

Visits<b>mirandaelcraig</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:53pm<b>way2go</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:16am<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:25pm<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:32pm<b>BigSquishy23</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:58pm<b>refticon</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:04am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:23pm<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:51pm<b>cryingonions</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:57pm<b>desidog</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>DessaChan</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:05pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:56am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:29am<b>BMTHsuperfan</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:35pm<b>basicperfection</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 12:44pm

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149967's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

by blower / 04/11/2011 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

by clashgurl8449 / 02/17/2011 at 3:08am / Health

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

by bittenbyadonkey / 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

by snoozerlooser / 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

by snoozerlooser / 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health