Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

149967

Search for a member

149967

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1714
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

149967's page activity

Visits<b>way2go</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:54pm<b>kikikiju</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:16am<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:25pm<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:32pm<b>BigSquishy23</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:58pm<b>refticon</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:04am<b>olpally</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:23pm<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:51pm<b>cryingonions</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:57pm<b>desidog</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>DessaChan</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:05pm<b>mesutozil11</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:02am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:56am<b>DenBriZel</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:29am<b>BMTHsuperfan</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:35pm<b>basicperfection</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 12:44pm<b>BananaCannon45</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:41pm

149967's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

149967's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111020) - you deserved it (11703)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82160) - you deserved it (20436)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70204) - you deserved it (18366)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91797) - you deserved it (6880)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (57405)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (7816)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

#30994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41460) - you deserved it (10548)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

#21100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12798) - you deserved it (43375)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (45135)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (7572)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (18563)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7353) - you deserved it (14278)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49984) - you deserved it (6949)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (7877)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

#970
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5542) - you deserved it (49227)

On 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by Noname - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: