This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2039)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8288) - you deserved it (39002)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (3527)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26480) - you deserved it (3334)
On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (7013)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (16877)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (6094)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (6094)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (3157)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (25367) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (3247)
On 09/19/2011 at 8:20pm - love - by Tech Savvy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25913) - you deserved it (3009)
On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (4854)
On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (5028)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
