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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (1817)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (3144)
On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (8092)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (6328)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (2946)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (2363)
On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (32418)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (5055)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (2292)
On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (2292)
On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)
Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (5888)
On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (10378)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (7134)
On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (1583)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (24454)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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